Ninja’s blog

Life is good.

nobody@vox.com(Sharayah) — Fri, 04 Jul 2008 11:59:57 -0500

Well kids, it has been quite an interesting 5 days since graduation. I feel like kind of a loser because lots of other people are continuing to vox a lot after it's not required, and I haven't written anything in at least a week lol. I just have to say though that...everything is somehow amazing right now...I mean, I still don't have a job and to be honest I haven't done a very good job of trying to find one, but there are a couple of possibilities that I really can't do much about unless I get a call back...and really, I need a job for tuition and for gas money but...I'm not worried about it, you know? I think that God gave me this amazing peace somewhere in the last couple of weeks and I have no idea when it happened...I was so worried about so many things the last couple of weeks of MC but now...it's like why did I even bother? Worrying and stressing out just bring you down and don't help you accomplish anything at all. Just remember that next time you start freaking out.

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Will this matter a year from now?

nobody@vox.com(Sharayah) — Wed, 25 Jun 2008 16:28:37 -0500

So a couple of nights ago the team went to hang out and eat some delicious stromboli at Jason and Sara Smith's house. Jason had a relationship/marriage class with us after dinner that was really interesting. He had a story about how once he was cooking something and his mother-in-law (I think) said he wasn't cooking it right. He made the point to us that whether he cooked the food his way or her way, it wouldn't make a difference in a year, and the argument was pointless. Well, this has just been a huge revelation to me and so with a lot of different things I have been thinking, "Will this matter a year from now? Or 5 years? Or 6 months?" And I have a couple of different commitments I've made to God that are a little tough but since Tuesday I have thought about how breaking those commitments would affect 6 months and a year from now, and it would most likely have a negative effect, or possibly neutral, but definitely not positive. I am just really glad that Jason brought this point because now I will look at the things I do a little differently.

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Grey Skies

nobody@vox.com(Sharayah) — Tue, 24 Jun 2008 07:59:31 -0500

So while we were in Minnesota we did an evening service at a church in Luverne, and there was this band called Fifth Floor that did worship. We heard during the day that they were this great band that tons of people auditioned for and it was really tough to get in and then when we asked the drummer about that, he had no idea what we were talking about! But they were a really good band, I bought their (well, really just their singer's) CD and I love their songs. I think my favorite is "Grey Skies."

No matter how much I consume I cannot kill the hunger pains
It's a craving I can't overcome
Breathe in, breathe in, breathe again
I think I'm losing level ground
I've been abandoned and left with one love

No one can cure what I can't explain
And I've got nobody but myself to blame
Somebody tell me what can heal this pain
This pain

See I've lived under plain grey skies for as long as I recall
At the sun's first sight it made me cry
Sweet sun rays lead me to assume when my grey skies are near
Oh, it makes me want to die, to die

No one can cure what I can't explain
And I've got nobody but myself to blame
Somebody tell me what can heal this pain
This pain

You left me dry and thirsty
But to the third degree
And I can't wait for you to come back
Come back to me

No one can cure what I can't explain
I've got nobody but myself to
No one can cure what I can't explain
And I've got nobody but myself to blame
Somebody tell me what can heal this pain
This pain

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Size 17 shoes?!?!

nobody@vox.com(Sharayah) — Sat, 21 Jun 2008 19:00:59 -0500

So today I went home to see my brother, Cameron, who's been in town and today was the ONLY day out of the 2 or 3 weeks he's been here I got to come see him! He just turned 15, and he's over a foot taller than me!!! And like the title says, he wears a size SEVENTEEN shoe!!! They have to special order his shoes lol! I'm really glad I got to see him though, he's not technically my brother anymore, but he was my stepbrother for about 10 years from the time he was born so really, he's still my little brother and always will be! But he's not so little anymore!!!

06-21-08_1657.jpg

DSCN1713.jpg

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Philippians 4:13!

nobody@vox.com(Sharayah) — Fri, 20 Jun 2008 12:03:52 -0500

So one of my life verses is Philippians 4:13. Well a few days ago I read all of Philippians 4 to get the full context of the verse. What I got from doing that was that it's not only that we can do the tough things through Christ because He gives us strength, but we can do the easy things too. We can survive being poor and we can survive being rich. We can live abundantly with everything or nothing.

Not that I was ever in need, for I have learned how to be content with whatever I have. I know how to live on almost nothing or with everything. I have learned the secret of living in every situation, whether it is with a full stomach or empty, with plenty or little. For I can do everything through Christ, who gives me strength.

Philippians 4:11-13

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Graduation!!

nobody@vox.com(Sharayah) — Thu, 19 Jun 2008 12:33:48 -0500

So graduation is a week and a half away! Ten days! I'm really excited, but sad too. I can't wait though! It's crazy, this year has gone by soo fast. I can't believe we've done all the things and gone all the places that we have. I can't believe that Tiffany is going back to New Mexico and I won't see her anymore. =( Belinda will be in Kansas this summer, and Rachael will be in Georgia, but they're coming back so I can handle that. But most of everybody will still be around this summer and we will hang out!

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Rave of praise!

nobody@vox.com(Sharayah) — Wed, 18 Jun 2008 14:09:43 -0500

Spotlight show

So on Sunday I experienced the most amazing praise & worship ever, and then we had a rave. Something was set free in my worship and my worship will never be the same. When we had our "rave of praise" I felt so free, and so happy. And it's crazy, because in normal raves, people get high, do all kinds of drugs (a common rave drug being ecstasy), dance crazy, get dehydrated, makeout and have sex with random people, and I've even heard of people cutting themselves and drinking their blood (though I don't know how true that is...) and they claim to feel so free and happy and great. Really they are anything but free, they are held captive by all kinds of demons and bondages. Satan has taken free worship from us and mutated it into something seemingly free but really horrifying. Well I'm just letting you know you can get the same, if not better, feeling of a worldly rave having a rave of praise with Christian techno music dancing for Jesus.

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Appreciating your singleness...

nobody@vox.com(Sharayah) — Tue, 10 Jun 2008 07:57:59 -0500

It took me up to the last month to finally be able to really get how to do this, but hey, better late than never. For the next 3 weeks I can now focus on God completely and not struggle with this as much. Of course we will always have struggles, but once you know how to get past the struggles you learn how to do it quicker and you don't have as big of a fight with them. The main thing I noticed is that you just have to be completely honest with yourself. When you are honest with yourself about what you are struggling with, you recognize the problems sooner and kill it before it grows too big. I just wish I had figured this out a couple of years ago...

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The sun and the moon

nobody@vox.com(Sharayah) — Fri, 06 Jun 2008 08:50:21 -0500

So in morning prayer, I kept listening to this song that's like 7 minutes long. It's by Mae and I think it's for a girl, but some of the lines can be taken as they are to God. Plus like half of the song is just really great instrumental stuff. I must say that I love Mae. They are a great band to fall asleep to or to listen to when you're melancholy-ish or just plain mellow and wanting to relax. There's something about the singer's voice...I was trying to figure it out last night but I just really can't...It kind of takes me back to early high school years...but also later high school years...and it creates a huge happy feeling but also a huge sad-ish feeling...I just really can't explain it, but Mae is an amazing band. You should listen to them.

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Responsibility, what's that?

nobody@vox.com(Sharayah) — Thu, 05 Jun 2008 11:51:45 -0500

"Responsibility, not quite yet!"

Just kidding! Those are just lyrics from an MxPx song.

I've been getting a lot more responsibility lately. There was calling restaurants and still helping out with catering, the drama room for VBS, today I am helping Sonya with budget stuff, and tomorrow night I am leading worship in VBS!!! Scary!! Oh and there's also still the Clouds video project, which we are getting a lot done on, but I still don't know if we will be able to tape it this year or have to do it in the summer or next year.

But still, I'm not really stressed about all of this. For a while earlier this year I didn't want responsibility and I was kinda weary about it, but not now! I think the sort of responsibility that I get determines how I will react to it.

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